I am a Judgy McJudgerson

I’m sure this is nothing new that I’ve been doing, but I’ve been thinking about my knee-jerk judgments I make on people.  I’m pretty sure everyone else does this, and rather than be ashamed of them, I figure I’ll try being open about them.  At least here.  Because I can’t go off on random people I see everyday…

I will judge you if…

  • You shop at Wal-Mart.  Yes, I know that most retailers aren’t a whole heck of a lot better (I know this first-hand, as a matter of fact), but the judgment stands.
  • Vote Yes.  (Yes, I intentionally linked to voting no)
  • Send your kid to private school.  I don’t think private schools should exist.  I believe poverty would be almost 100% destroyed if we got rid of private schools and made where you went to school completely random within a certain distance from home.  And if health care weren’t so damned expensive.
  • Watch Dr. Who.  I can’t help it.  I’ve never actually seen it, so I’m a lot like all small children who decide x-food is “not yummy for me” when I’ve never tried it.  Actually, that’s not true.  I’d probably like it, but the hype makes me want to punch things.
  • Vote Republican.  Pretty much anyone who is fiscally conservative right now is Reagan conservative or somehow even worse.  And history has proven this just doesn’t work.  If you’re less than ridiculously rich and you’re voting Republican, you might as well be shooting yourself in the foot. And if you’re socially conservative, you’re just a dick.  See my second point up yonder ^.
  • Like cold weather.  That’s just crazy talk.
  • Don’t have a gmail account.  Google is king!
  • Are a hipster.  I will only mildly judge you by the status of your clothes, hair, and eyewear.  The real judgment happens when you open your mouth and hipster bullshit comes pouring out.
  • Use Internet Explorer. Enough said, I hope.

I’m sure there are more, but I’ve probably already offended enough people.  I would really love to hear what crazy things you judge people based on.  Please tell me in the comments.  You’ll make my day.

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