*Craft herpes, that is….
Good golly, my shameful attempts to drum up visitors to my site….
I’ve had a serious issue with glitter for a really long time. At least as long as I’ve worked in retail, which is… *sigh* Let’s not even go there. It makes me itchy, it can drive a person bonkers if it’s just barely in sight on their face, and it doesn’t go away no matter what you do.
So everyone thought it was hilarious that I decided to take a position at my workplace that basically required me to handle glitter-covered items on a daily basis. And I’ll admit, I thought it was a little weird myself.
Since November I’ve been trying to take a very zen approach to glitter. “It’s more scared of you than you are of it” (Clearly bullshit, as glitter doesn’t have emotions, and if it did, they’d most certainly be malicious). “It can’t harm you” (Also bullshit; I knew someone once who developed a wicked lip rash after using too much glitter lip smackers, and I’m pretty sure that shit can line your lungs and scratch your eyeballs). “But it makes everything so sparkly” (Okay, there’s a point there….) I’d even started liking items that had glitter on them (but still refusing to bring them into my house).
Until today, when I took that picture above. I might as well have dumped a box full of spiders on myself. The glitter overload damn near killed me. And, really… It’s only the beginning.
Anyone hiring or know someone that’s hiring? I’m not terribly picky, as long as it’s full time with benefits and herp-free.
Also, this may be my new favorite Onion article. (I like to cough and say “I think I got the sparkly lung, pop!”)