I’m going to break it down a little. I’ve had a rough week. Nothing worth going into, and it’s all going to be just fine, but I’d been fighting to keep it from interfering with work all week, and I was done fighting today. I woke up so stressed out that the idea of food repulses me. I honestly didn’t think that was actually possible for me. I’m always hungry and even when I’m not hungry, I want to eat. It was a very weird feeling to not want to eat. I still don’t want to eat, 15 hours later (I have eaten, it was just a chore).
I was sitting in the break room this morning, passively sipping on my tea, when one of my coworkers asked me if I was okay. I shook my head, started crying a little, and explained that I would be fine, my emotions were just really raw today. We sat in silence a little longer while I looked over my email.
An email had popped up that Panera was bringing back their Flower Cookie for summer. And despite not wanting to eat anything, I was actually pretty excited about that. I’d had the cookie a couple times last summer and it was delicious and addicting. As I started to get up to go back to work I said, “Well, I must not be a complete lost cause, because even though I don’t want to eat anything, I did just get excited over a cookie at Panera.” I told her about the cookie and went about my day.
Her shift ended a couple hours before mine, and right after she left I was up backing up the registers. I’d stepped into the front register to sign something or look at the computer or… something. I looked up and my coworker was standing there. She started to hand me something that looked like one of the plain wooden pieces that kids can color that we carry. She started saying “Someone dropped this outside” while handing it to me. As she handed it to me, I saw the other side was a bright colored flower and she finished her sentence with “for you”.
And then my overdriven emotions swung to the opposite end of the spectrum and I teared up over her compassion and generosity.
Later I helped a customer who ended up writing up a thank you for me and giving it to management.
It’s nice to have a little restoration in faith for humanity. I also think it’s important to perform random acts of kindness, and today I’m trying to make myself remember that. Sometimes life is more than “don’t be a dick.” Sometimes it’s “be the nicest you can be.”
ETA: I also want to add a little thank you to the waitress at the bowling alley. I was reluctant to go out to eat since I wasn’t interesting in eating, but she allowed me to order a kid’s meal when the restaurant is usually pretty sticky on that. I still couldn’t finish it, but it hit the spot and made me feel good. So thank you waitress (whose name I think I do know, but I won’t mention it for privacy… because I’m sure you’d track her down or something).